I understand that you have had a rough time these last few weeks, but that is NO excuse to skip work! There are papers falling all over me and it very messy in your office, and your coffee and milk stinks! Your boss Meg said that if you don’t come back tomorrow then she will give your job to someone else and you can be the cleaner or something like that! You’re terrible and you need to come back NOW!! Or I’ll come over and get you myself!!
Sincerly, the carpet!